Best of Quotes from Entertainment Weekly.

I have collector tendencies. I collect recipes, books, dvds, magnets, cute coffee/tea mugs and quotes. I was the person who was writing down the quotes from the Celestial Seasonings tea boxes and tea bags. I started this probably 20 years ago and am still doing it now. Now, it's sprung to Entertainment Weekly. I get them, read them. copy the quotes I like, make cool cards and recycle them. I have saved maybe five of them so far. Clearly, the ones I like tend to be idiosyncratic.

(About the Great Man by Kate Christenson) You may discover some droll bits of drawing-room comedy in Christenson’s fourth book, but that will involve venturing, machete in hand, through a jungle of overripe prose.—Troy Patterson, EW.

(About Smallville) Is it just me or does every Smallville episode seem born of 3 a.m. tacos and tequila-fueled debates of who’d kick whose ass in a death match?—EW.

(About the Writer’s Strike) The Golden Globes are cancelled and the Oscars may be next. I want no part of a world that refuses to congratulate itself.—Conan O’Brien, EW.

Wait a minute. . . words in the prompter? Script on my desk? Vending machine upstairs out of Funyuns?? The writers are back! –Jon Stewart, celebrating the writers post-strike return on the Daily Show.

(About Mannequin 1 and 2)
When “Emmy” inexplicably pulls a Pinocchio (becoming Kim Catrall, dolled up like Sex and the City’s Samantha if she shopped at Merry-Go-Round) the pair take to doing displays, which saves the store from the wrecking ball.

The saggy 1991 sequel Mannequin 2: On the Move has a near-identical plot--Hollywood, Prince and Starship are back, alongside a new leading man (William Ragsdale) and magical mannequin (Kristy Swanson)—but it can’t capture the charm or finesse of the original. (Yes, we just said Mannequin has “charm” and “finesse.” And no, there isn’t a “Fashion with Hollywood” featurette—or any extras—on either disc.)—Tanner Stransky, EW.

(About Princess, the ABC Family movie) The modern fairy tale of Princess Ithaca. They’d have named her Princess Utica, but that just sounds dumb.—Alynda Wheat, EW.

Bill Maher serves as guest programmer tonight (of My Fair Lady). What’s more shocking: Bill’s love of musicals or classy women?—Jessica Shaw, EW.

I watched Boston Legal nine times before I realized it wasn’t a new Star Trek—Tracy Morgan, EW.

(About Love Songs) A musical about threesomes, death, bed-hopping and bisexuality. Or, as the French call it, l’amour.—EW.

(About Exteme Trains on History channel) I can personally guarantee the NJ Transit Local to Philadelphia shouldn’t qualify.—Jessica Shaw, EW.

(About Brazil) Extras include a 10 year-old director’s track and the studio’s sunnier, shorter cut--Timothy Gunatilaka

(About the Mermaid Chair) She also gets busy with a Benedictine monk (CSI’s Alex Carter) who sadly wears street clothes when the sin occurs. The robe would’ve been hotter--Mandi Bierly.

(About Only Revolutions by Mark Z. Danielewski) Needless to say, comprehension is attained on ly impressionistically. While masochistic grad. students might flip out over Revolutions’ gimmicky demands, most will find it impenetrable.-Gilbert Cruz.

(About Gossip Girl) In the interest of a Happy Humphrey Thanksgiving, an open letter to Jenny: Little J, wipe off that circa ’91 eyeliner, grow out the Joan Jett haircut and stopp pretending magenta crinoline equals couture—Jessica Shaw, EW.

(About Merry Christmas, Drake and Josh) Henry Winkler guest stars in the boys tv-movie. And if you’re thinking “Hey, the Fonz!!” then maybe you’re too old to watch it—Clark Collis, EW.

(About I want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown) Featuring Snoopy’s brother Spike, and Luch and Linus’s brother, Rerun, a.k.a. the Scrappy-Doo and cousin Oliver of the Peanuts gang.—Jessica Shaw, EW.

(About Masterpiece Theater) Tonight’s the season premiere of Foyle’s War. Watch host Alan “Nipple Glitter” Cumming magnificently fill Dame Diana Rigg’s sensible shoes.—Jessica Shaw, EW.

(About Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew). Thing No. 217 I never thought I’d write. If only Kenickie would listen to the Baldwin Brother.-Entertainment Weekly.

Mira Sorvino: if it’s a choice between The Last Templar and quitting acting, might we suggest a sequel to Romy and Michelle?-EW.

Suge Knight in Scottsdale, Ariz. hotel scuffle with alleged Akon associate. Guys, when Arizona is the setting of your new rap war, it’s time to rethink the whole concept of rap war.—Scott Brown, EW.

The Fray-for people who think that Toad the Wet Sprocket are too edgy--EW.

(About Lipstick Jungle) This week on my favorite show that I don’t admit to watching but will be devastated if it’s cancelled: Victory introduces Joe Bennett to her parents.—Jessica Shaw, EW.

Scar Jo releases an album of Tom Waits covers. The move accelerates fears that Tara Reid would finally complete her long-feared Leonard Cohen encomium.—Scott Brown, EW.

We’ve watched the trailers for this month’s horror newbies, The Unborn and The Uninvited at least 22 times and we still can’t tell them apart.—EW.

Tom Hardy stars in part 1 of Wuthering Heights, an adaption of the Kate Bush song. (Oh, all right, it was a book, too—Clark Collis, EW.

I would tell you how Wuthering Heights ends, but I don’t want to spoil 11th grade for all of our y oung readers out there—Jessica Shaw, EW.

Dear Feminism: We apologize. Love the cast of Bride Wars.—EW.

Ione Skye gets married in India. I don’t really think this is how Lloyd Dobler saw things going-Scott Brown, EW.

Amazing Race contestants fail to identify Chekhov. Russian-U.S. relations at lowest point since Ivan Drago killed Apollo in Rocky IV,--EW.

(About Lost) Tonight we meet young Sayid and young Ben, making this week’s episode the Lost version of Muppet Babies.--Jessica Shaw.

Brandon Routh’s role cut from a new Bret Easton Ellis adaption. Turns out noone wanted to see Superman explore his bisexual-nihilist side, which, frankly, surprises me. –Scott Brown, EW.

One Tree Hill can be described in many ways: unflinching cure for insomnia, worst show to take place on a hill, and inexcusable misuse of Chad Michael Murray would all work—Joel Mc Hale, The Soup.

(About the Mysteries of Pittsburgh) Jon Foster plays Art Bechstein, the son of a Jewish gangster (Nick Nolte), but he comes off as the dullest of WASP preppies. His fascination with a young couple-heartfelt Jane (Sienna Miller) and her pretentious, chopper-rdiing bisexual boyfriend, Cleveland (Peter Sarsgaard)- plays like Gossip Girl written by a bad F. Scott Fitzgerald imitator.—Own Gliebermen, EW.

(About Adam Lambert) Adam’s personal life remains shielded. He was apparently made by the Hand of God and left in a basket backstage of Wicked, where he was discovered, bestowed with a lifetime supply of black nail polish and raised by musical-theater queens.—Mark Harris, EW.

(About the Tudors) King Henry lusts after sisters and a French chick. When did the Tudors turn into a really bad issue of Maxim?—Jessica Shaw, EW.

Alt-rock band Placebo cover “Wouldn’t it be Good” from the Pretty in Pink soundtrack, which came out 23 years ago. But, no you’re totally not old.—EW.

(About Mercy) A medical drama about students who are both cynical and innocent, crossing Grey’s Anatomy with Third Watch. This could be utterly insufferable.—Ken Tucker, EW.

(About Extreme Towns) You want Extreme? The restaurant in my hometown, Scotch Plains, N.J. sometimes served dinner as late as 8 p.m. That’s p.m., mofos! Do the Dew!—Jessica Shaw, EW.

(About DMB: Live from the Beacon) Watch with a frat boy who thinks he’s sensitive because he’s wearing mandals and you’ll have the complete DMB experience—Jessica Shaw, EW.

(About True Blood) This show is at the forefront of the baffling “sexy vampire” trend. When did vampires stop being horrific blood sucking monsters and instead become misunderstood metrosexuals?—Andy Richter.

Why do I have to follow CNN on twitter? If I want to follow CNN, I can follow them on CNN.–Jon Stewart.

Nia Vardalos on Hollywood’s double standard: “Russell Croswe is fat and noone ever talks about it.” But, Nia, we in the press like him fat. It slows him down and impairs his aim.—Scott Brown, EW.

(About God Help the Girl by Stuart Murdoch) The sheer amount of next-level twee showcased on the Belle and Sebastian frontman’s latest project--positioned as the soundtrack to an imaginary movie-no less--may send listeners screaming for the nearest Black Sabbath box set—Leah Grenblatt, EW.

You know that Sex and the City movie? It’s a hit—no, not just a hit. Surprise! A long-running TV series that generated hundreds of millions of dollards in revenue and an extremely lovyal following turns out to be popular. Surprise! Women apparently can find a local multiplex without the assistance of men. Surprise! Sometimes two women, or three or four or five, will go to a movie together, even if they’re not lesbians. Surprise!—Mark Harris, EW.

A Brooklyn take on Sex and the City is reportedly in the works. It’ll center on four very different friends with one thing in common: They can’t afford to live in Manhattan.—Scott Brown, EW.

(About Dirty Sexy Money) Here’s what happens when you burn off new episodes of a cancelled series in the summer. You have your Thanksgiving episode air in the middle of July.—Jessica Shaw, EW.

Janet arrested on suspicion of DUI. Was repeatedly overserved at the Regal Beagle.-EW.

After success of Desperate Houseplants, Sesame Street to launch Mad Men Parody. I’m not so sure I want to see Elmo drink, smoke and have an extramarital affair with the letter S. –Scott Brown, EW.

A professor claims rap “battles” originated in medieval Scotland. I think this guy’s research consisted of a half-pint of Glenlivet and an accidental late-night broadcast of Highlander on BET.—Scott Brown, EW.

Showtime and the BBC are developing a contemporary retelling of Camelot. Sword-wielding Arthur hooks up with Guinevere, a high-priced call girl who sells weed to make ends meet.—Scott Brown, EW.

(About Merlin) After Arthur kills a unicorn, a curse is put on the kingdom. Who knew PETA was powerful in the middle ages?—Jessica Shaw, EW.